It has been almost two months since I fell in love. Completely, head over heels, like nothing I have ever experienced before, in love…with my baby girl. I have been so deeply in love (oh and so tired, busy with constant feedings and changing poopy diapers, learning how to care for a newborn, and showing our girl off to family and friends) that I have neglected this blog, which was created in large part to document my adventures into motherhood. But I wanted to be as present as possible for the first few months of baby’s life, and while I still enjoyed documenting this time via one too many images of our little one on social media (#sorrynotsorry), I didn’t feel the need to spend time recording it in detail any other place than her baby book. Now I am ready, while still spending far too many hours a day staring at her gorgeous face, to put into words the experience of falling for Lily Rose.
This girl suits her name perfectly: She’s equal parts spirited Prairie Lily (in honour of me, her Saskatchewan mother), and sweet English Rose (for her father Jon, who’s British). I first came across the two names together as a first name, in of all places, a papparazi magazine, as it’s Johnny Depp’s daughter’s name. But it couldn’t be a better choice for our own child. We chose it months before even knowing we were having a girl, and never wavered, never even considered other choices. It was always Lily Rose, because (like meeting Jon and knowing so early on that this was the guy for me) when you know, you just know!
Her personality is so strong already: she is at once feisty (when hungry or needing a change) and calm (when being passed around by family and friends, out at restaurants or stores, even at a crowded bowling alley!). When Jon and I would lie in bed at night talking about what our baby girl would be like, we hoped for a sweet, yet strong little lady; a girl who was pleasant and smiled readily, but could stand up to boys and bullies. And now that we are getting to know her, Lily Rose seems to be what we imagined, but even better: she is delicate and girly, and yet strong for her size. She is a little quirky, and pulls funny faces. Jon says she definitely has my temper, but she is one very happy babe: from wide and gummy first thing in the morning, to a sly one later in the day, and a lazy grin before bed, this girl loves to smile:)
And physically, Lily Rose is a beautiful mix of Jon and I, and our family members. While she came out with darker hair (like Jon’s father’s before it grayed), it lightened quickly. We are excited to see what colour it ends up (I was hoping for a ginger!), because although we are both blonds, our siblings have darker hair. Right now, she is rocking a bit of a baby mullet, with her hair shorter and sparser in front (total business), and growing longer in the back (party!), ha ha. Her hands are long and slender, which she gets from my maternal grandmother and aunt, or Jon’s sister. She is also long and lean, not the chubby Cabbage Patch I assumed we were having. Along with hoping she would have her dad’s gorgeous full lips and bright blue eyes (which she so does, yay!) I am hoping she will be tall like him, or at least taller than me! But I’m proud to say that the small ears and nose Lily inherited are from yours truly;)
Besides delicate features and a great smile, she has the cutest dimple in her left cheek, the most kissable face, and is growing fuller lashes to frame those lovely eyes! I know we will have hundreds of photos to look back on, but I want to imprint this cherub’s face forever in my brain. She seems just as keen to stare at me for hours, studying me and holding my gaze. Like all parents, I feel she is smart as well as beautiful: from the moment she was born, people commented on how alert she was for a newborn. She smiled for the first time at 3 weeks (I know it was gas up until that point, and while experts may argue that it was still gas even then, her grandparents and I witnessed her smile squarely at her father, and I snapped the pic for proof!).
So I savour every second with our little one, as I know she will grow and change so quickly: she is constantly stretching from her once curled up position, kicks her baby legs with such force and bats at her favourite toy, and while she isn’t a fan of tummy time, is lifting and turning her head more and more! My favourite part is the constant babbling, as I may very well have a talkative child on my hands (to rival her chatterbox mother ha ha). While I got to dress this dolly for a whole 6 weeks in adorable newborn clothes, packing them away still made me tear up. It’s all so bittersweet: I can’t wait for her to get bigger, be active and for all the firsts to come, but there is also a part of me that gets emotional about her no longer being a precious little newborn.
I am quite enamoured by everything about her: the sounds she makes (cute coos while playing, sweet little whimpers and giggles in her sleep, hilarious “hmm hmm”s of relief when she is about to start feeding), her baby fresh scent and soft skin, even her crazy bedhead. The smiles she gives every morning on her change table, or after naps as I peek into her bassinet get me through the trying times: marathon daytime feedings, late night nursing sessions, a bit of colic, lack of sleep, and a drastic reduction in “me” time. And nothing can beat the beauty of her favourite spot: nestled against my boob, where I can look into those baby blues and see my love reflected in her eyes.