There’s a saying that “Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe” (www.pixelpaperhearts.com has the print to prove it;) Well I must be sending off quite the vibe, cause my tribe is the most supportive, fun, generous one I know. I am lucky to have a lot of girlfriends, and I am thankful for every last one of them. But when it comes to having a kick ass group of girls, I truly won the jackpot with my Splurge Sistas.
Six and a half years ago, we decided to form a group of like-minded ladies to each take turns planning a monthly get together, at which we would put money in the pot and one would win it to “Splurge” on herself. From pole dancing class to pottery decorating and potlucks. Yoga, wine tastings, bbqs, movie dates and lazy nights in…we’ve done it all. It was mostly made up of friends from high school, with a few new girls joining in, and over the years, it has grown to include more friends of friends, some sister in laws and cousins. The money was done away with as we really just wanted to have a guaranteed girls night once a month. It gets less and less about the activity, and more and more about the support, laughs, and love we share for one another.
We’ve swapped recipes, and borrowed dresses, travel clothes and nursing bras. We’ve exchanged advice on everything from where to go for a good wax, to how to deal with a teething baby. We routinely alert each other when a fave online vendor is having a sale. We celebrate good times together: weddings, babies, new jobs and houses. We’ve been there for the bad: moves, break ups and sick family members. I don’t know of another group of ladies who go to such lengths to show how they care. A group gift is arranged for the lucky lady each time another baby is born, but the generosity doesn’t end there: when one member’s beloved dog passed away, one of the ladies organized a gift in remembrance; when another’s family traveled to the States to access therapy to help their young son, one of the girls pooled together money to help them with expenses.
We are mothers, daughters and aunts; sisters and friends to more than just one another; we have jobs, demanding careers, hobbies, passions, babies, fur babies, kids at various ages, boyfriends, husbands and houses. So it goes without saying that we have big, busy lives and yet somehow, we try to come together as often as possible to discuss it all, usually over booze and yummy food: the inevitable and sometimes much-needed bitch fest (thank GAWD for the opportunity to vent to one another!), the advice-giving for relationships, family, health and happiness. And it’s all done without pretense, without judgment. It’s just exactly what we need: a little time just for us, to be girls, and to have fun.
This is a group that when I was taking a major leap for love by moving from my hometown to live with my British beau in Estevan, SK, surprised me with a send off I will never forget: while at Kim’s awesome annual Snowflake Soiree Christmas party, the ladies sneakily applied red lipstick in honour of yours truly, then came out with cupcakes adorned with pics of little ‘ole me (I was quite the selfie queen so they had lots to pick from on Facebook, hee hee). Kim played the cutest video montage while I tearfully watched and opened the most thoughtful going away gifts. It makes me cry even now, thinking of the time and effort they went to to make me feel loved and appreciated by the very girls I so adore. They knew that even though I was moving only two and a half hours away, it felt so much further away from my lady loves; they knew I was chasing my dream of starting a family; and they knew that I would never expect but forever treasure such a heartfelt show of support.
And when I was realizing that dream of starting a family, my dear friend Rachelle gathered my favourite ladies to shower me with love and baby gifts for me and little Lily Rose. She enlisted the help of several of the Splurge ladies to create a beautiful friends baby shower: they decorated, organized fun games to play, and fed my preggo cravings with delicious treats. They all wrote down their hopes for my little girl: what qualities she would get from her father and I, what she would love and learn in the future. The words they shared moved me to tears when I read them upon our return to Estevan: sitting on the floor of our almost finished baby room, Jon and I read through the sweetest sentiments, in awe of the love this group of amazing friends and mothers had for us, and our baby, and she wasn’t even born yet.
Someday Lily Rose will look at these keepsakes, and read the words for herself. I only hope she can find a group of girls like I have. Girls can sometimes be cruel, and now with social media, bullying and slut shaming in the mix, I worry about my daughter finding girlfriends to lift her up, rather than tear her down. It may not be while in elementary or highschool; it may take years to meet them, or she may meet some of some as a young girl but grow apart, then happily come back together as grown women, better friends than ever.
This group of girls I’ve been lucky enough to find lifts me up, never tears me down, and I can only hope my baby girl someday experiences the beauty of true female friendship. My Splurge Sistas celebrate major life moments and little successes alike; they offer unwavering support and encouragement through good times and bad; they make me feel better, like the world is a kinder, gentler and much funnier place because they are a part of it. They also offer great examples of strong, smart, sweet, silly women and are fabulous mommy models. I admire them, and strive hard to be a little like the best part of each one of them! And they can also make you laugh till you pee your pants. Really, what more could you ask for from friendship, life and love<3